The Tale of 2 Cranberry Relishes

This is a tale of woe as well as a cranberry tale.  I used to own my Grandma Olson’s meat grinder.  When my brother and I were little, it was the outboard motor on the end of my bed or whatever adventure we were playing that day.  It was just the perfect implement for imagination.  Every holiday it became a kitchen tool.  Mom would let us take turns grinding the cranberries.  Cranberries went in the top, juice went out the bottom and ground cranberries came out the front.  This is a close likeness, but not quite.

After owning it for years and years, it was misplaced some where between our old house and our new house.  I’m verklempt.  Nothing works quite as well.  This year, I bought a new food processor thinking that might do the trick, but no.  Since there is no bottom drainage, the relish stays too juicy.  I also like my relish a little coarser and that is so hard to control with a machine.  This is how my grandma and mom made relish:

  • Rinse and sort 1 or 2 bags of fresh cranberries
  • Grind to a pickle relish consistency
  • Grind 1 or 2 oranges depending on size to a matching consistency
  • Grind a tart apple if available, like a Jonathan
  • Combine in a bowl
  • Add sugar to taste

I can’t even see the orange pieces due to the lack of coarseness in my processed relish.  Sigh.  Even this way, it is still so much fresher tasting than canned.  But, not everyone likes cranberries.  I know, WTF!  So for them, let’s address canned sauce.  If you were told to bring cranberry sauce to the party and didn’t want the mess, I have a solution for you.  Open your can of sauce, place it in a bowl, get out your microplaner, wash off an orange, grate the zest of that orange into the sauce and add a squeeze or 2 of orange juice.  You will not believe it’s not fresh.  Magic!  People will ask for your recipe and you will modestly look away and say it’s an old family recipe and you aren’t allowed to share it.  Everyone is happy and you are a hero.

and remember:  Just because today might be a terrible day does not mean tomorrow won’t be the best day of your like.  You just gotta get there.  Big kiss, Lynn

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